Lupus and Ovarian Cysts

Did you know, that women with Lupus have a higher incidence rate of large ovarian cysts? If your answer is no, well.. neither did i until a little while ago. After doing some research for an upcoming rheumatologist appointment, I came to find out that women with Lupus experience large ovarian cysts at an alarming rate. My information was found on the Lupus Foundation of America website. It is definitely something to think about and ask your doctor at your next rheumy appointment...

Until next time...

No such luck....

I went into my last appoinment, almost sure that nothing would be said and one more piece added onto the puzzle... was I ever wrong. I was called in on wedesday with the results of my ultrasound an blood work. My liver enzymes are double what tihey should be. The ultrasound showed enlargement of my liver pushing up against my spleen, causing it to enlarge. As of yet, I don't know what will happen but an urgent referral has been sent to a gastroenterologist.one doctor mentioned a biopsy but I won't know anything for at least a few weeks.

I will update as soon as I know more...

Call it the winter blues....

I haven't written in a while, clearly! I go through phases, more times than not, where I don't feel like doing anything - I don't feel like reading, blogging, or vlogging. It's a very bad habit that I need to kick, soon! I'm not depressed, I'm not even sad, I just can't seem to get into the hang of any sort of routine. As most of you who are dealing with Lupus knows, life is one big roller coaster, it's just up to you on when you want to hop on! I decided a very long time ago, that if I was going to fight for my health and a diagnosis, I wasn't going to do it halfheartedly... There was something wrong with me and I was ready to figure out what! Fast forward three years later, and I'm still as passionate as ever in finding out what has been plaguing me for so long. With each doctors appointment that draws near, I become that much closer to my ultimate diagnosis and course of treatment. I thought that now would be a better time than ever to begin writing, again. Tomorrow, I will find out what has been effecting my liver. A few years ago, my liver enzymes began to rise. Now, almost 2011; I am finally finding out what has been plaguing my liver. I had an ultrasound done last week, and tomorrow, at 4:00pm - I will receive the results. It will be either be good news (in concluding active Lupus) or no new at all. What ever the case may be, I will bring you along on my journey.

Talk to you all soon....

Steph

Tragedy in the family...

Sorry I haven't posted in a little while. There was an unexpected tragedy with a family friend and we have been by her side since it happened. I will resume my posts soon.

Until next time...
xo

Inflammation & Immunity

All information can be found in and has been cited from; The Lupus Book (Fourth Edition) A Guide for Patients and their Families by Daniel J Wallace, M.D. (pg. 17-19)

Inflammatory and immune responses are responsible for many of the symptoms seen in systemic lupus. The body of a healthy individual is always on the lookout for foreign invaders that pose a threat. Hence, one's immunity.

There are many different components regarding one's blood supply. One's blood supply consists of different components, including:

Red Blood Cells (erythrocytes): responsible for the carrying and exchanging of oxygen. If someone has a low red blood cell count, they are suffering from something called Anemia.

White Blood Cells (leukocytes): it is these cells that make up the body's main defense system. White blood cells play a huge role in inflammation.

Platelets: it is one's platelets that are responsible for clotting blood.

Plasma: it is plasma that makes up the majority of our blood supply. Plasma contains lots of proteins and other substances being transferred to different parts of the body.


There are (5) types of white blood cells that have been identified all relevant to Lupus. The list is as follows:

- Polymorphonuclear Cells: Cells also known as neutrophils or granulocytes, which are made, and found, in our bone marrow. They circulate the blood for a few days which are then passed into tissue. 50%-70% of our circulating white cells are neutrophils (pg. 17)

- Eosinophils: These particular white blood cells make up 0% to 5% of our entire white blood cell supply. Eosinophils are involved in allergic responses. (pg. 18)

- Basophils: These particular cells don't have a defined function. Tissue based basophils are known as "mast cells". These cells fight against parasitic or fungal invasions to the body. They also play a huge role in allergy. (pg. 18)

- Lymphocytes: Gate keepers to our immune system. Also produced in the bone marrow, can survive up to 20 years. (pg. 18)

- Monocytes: The circulating blood component of the "monocyte-macrophage" network. It is these cells that are responsible for processing foreign invaders (antigens) and the destroying cells and tissues that are products of inflammation. Macrophages can be present in blood as well, however they are mostly found in tissue. (pg. 18)

This information is to solely be used as a resource tool for people living with Lupus and auto-immune disease. I thought the information would be an amazing tool for all of us :)

Talk soon...
xo

University of Athabasca

The possibility of achieving a post-secondary education seemed next to impossible after my health began to worsen. I was forced to withdraw from my program at a local university just a few short years ago. I never in a million years could have imagined that the opportunity to achieve my degree would have presented itself, especially with the numerous road blocks called my health. After explaining my situation to a student advisor at a nearby university, I was told about a credible, known university that is completely based on individualized and online programs. I was extremely hesitant at first, not knowing too much about the university. If I have learned anything at all, high schools aren't very accomodating to students with disabilities wanting to pursue a post-secondary method of study. It wasn't until 2 years after high school that I heard about this amazing opportunity. I went so long trying to fit my needs into the expectations of various universities, I never thought about having a university fit my needs. With the knowledge that things would always be a little bit harder and more challenging, I knew from the moment I spoke to my student advisor that this school was the perfect fit!

There are a few things you need to consider when registering for a program...
1.) Am I able to complete the suggested assignments, tests, and exams in a timely fashion without procrastinating?
2.) Am I ready to complete a course without deadlines?

The amazing prospects involved with the University of Athabasca begins to grow by leaps and bounds. Not only is Athabasca accomodating to students with disabilities, they are extremely supportive in wanting to see you achieve. I could have never found a perfect fit, even if I had dreamt it! One thing that really sold me was the opportunity to complete a course without deadlines. It became quite clear early on that I would not be able to attend lectures and classes on a daily basis due to my inability to sit or stand for long periods at a time, as well as the fear that I wouldn't be able to complete my assignments on time because I get acutely sick so often. No deadlines! If you are able to complete the course in an aloted amount of time, this is perfect for you!

What are some advantages to being a part of the students with disabilities program that is offered with the University of Athabasca?
1.) You are given the opportunity to utilize 3, 2 month extensions if needed without charge
2.) Each student is given the opportunity to apply for accomodations regarding the final exam. (This was the most important for me)
3.) Lastly, students with disabilities are given the opportunity to take advantage of helpful equipment to help achieve success in completing their degree.


For more information regarding admittance and tuition, visit www.athabascau.ca
You may also want to browse the different program offerings from both undergraduate and graduate programs. You can also go on to achieve your Masters in various areas of study.

If you have any questions regarding the University of Athabasca, don't hesitate to ask!

Talk soon...
Xo

Never Give Up!!

I am SO excited, I cannot contain myself! After alot of hard work and determination, I finally got my marks back from my exam! I PASSED :) It has only proven to me that if you work hard enough, anything is possible. Before I started my Psychology program with the University of Athabasca, I was scared and skeptical. I really thought I could never do it. With the encouragement of my parents and my boyfriend, I decided to throw myself into the course full force. Although it took me longer than the average person due to unforseen circumstances, i ended up proving myself wrong! I passed my course with flying colors :) A 50% is required to pass the course, and although i didn't do as exceptional as i would have wanted, I did pretty darn good for my very first year as a university student. Considering all of the aspects of my life that were working against me, i did well! I finished my course with a 69%, and have enrolled to start again on December 10th :)

If any of you take away any message from this post, i would want it to be that anything is possible with a little bit of hard work and determination. I don't care how daunting it looks, it is possible! You have to be committed, and you also have to realize, and let go of the idea that everything needs to be an A. Although that is what i strived for, I am certainly not dissapointed in the grade I got. That's all I want for all of you - strive for the best! If you are unable to meet that goal, don't beat yourself up about it, it was SO hard for you to get the grade you did.. you should be proud of yourself!

I have to be honest, my first attempt at the exam - i failed. I was extremely down on myself, but.. it only meant I had to work harder the next time. With each course you take, you have 2 chances to achieve a grade of over 50% however if you do not achieve it the first time, you have a second chance. The second chance was all I needed, and the hard work paid off! I will discuss a little bit about The University of Athabasca for those of you who are interested.

Talk soon, and good look on your studies <3
xo

You should take your own advice :)

You would think that you would be prepared when life threw you a curve ball.. turns out, I wasn't. I don't think you could ever be prepared for the unexpected aspects of life. It doesn't matter how much you have been through in your lifetime, there will always be something that will catch you off guard, and damage you. After years of struggling with what I have been given, I was finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnle.. Albeit small, very small, actually.. at least I could see a glimmer of hope. I finally felt like I was actually getting somewhere. Was it the perfect way to do things, no, probably not. I did a lot of things that had I known what I know now, I probably wouldn't have done. At the end of the day though, life is one big ball of crazy and you need to learn how to have fun with it. It doesn't matter what you do, or what you don't do.. you will always be criticized. If you're not educated on the matter, and you've never been through it.. you will never, ever know what someone is going through. I don't care how much you think you may know about me, or my illness.. you know nothing. I like to look at this illness as a filter; a filter for all the bad in my life. Without it, I wouldn't know who I could and couldn't trust. It's not always the easiest way to learn about people but, it's effective.

I have had a really hard month, both physically and emotionally. Maybe it's that people don't understand me, or maybe it's that they don't understand what I'm going through, either way.. just because you "know" me, doesn't make you an expert on me, or what I'm dealing with. People can talk until they're blue in the face, but at the end of the day, you're not up with me at 5:00 in the morning, not having had any sleep, in so much pain that just laying down makes you sweat. I don't know what it is ..... {I am exhausted, and I keep falling asleep at the keyboard.. I will write back tomorrow}

30 Things You May Not Know About My Illness....

I saw this on a fellow Lupie's blog and I thought I would fill it out as well...

1. The illness I live with is: Lupus (SLE), Epilepsy, Polycystic Ovarian Disease, Gastro Esophagual Reflux Disease, High Blood Pressure + rapid heart rate, Bipolar Disorder, Raynauds Phenomenon, Fibromyalgia.

2. I was diagnosed in the year: 2010

3. But I had symptoms since: I started to notice minimal changes in my joints around the age of 13 starting in my hands. My severe symptoms didn't begin until around 2008. It has been an extremely progressive journey, each year, I am faced with a new and daunting challenge.

4. The biggest adjustment I have had to make is: The quantity in which I do things. I try to do minimal things to avoid stress, and flares. It's the quantity in which i do things that I focus on the most now. One thing you will learn, very quickly, is that each day, minute, and hour is never the same.. One minute you will be feeling okay, and the next you feel as if you've been hit by a truck. My sleeping habits have taken the biggest hit...

5. Most people assume: That because I have a full face of makeup on and I look okay, it must mean I feel okay. Wrong - inside, my body is deteriorating.

6. The hardest part about mornings is: waking up after a relatively okay day, to find that I can no longer walk on my own anymore. It's mornings such as those that are the hardest, it reminds me how sick I really am.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: I would have to say I have 3; Mystery Diagnosis because i can closely relate, ER, and Dr.G: Medical Examiner.

8. A gadget I couldn't live without is: It's a total tie. I don't think I could live without my laptop though. Second would have to be my blackberry.

9. The hardest parts about nights are: Falling asleep. Sometimes, I am in so much hurrendous pain, that the thought of falling asleep is discouraging. I can never seem to get comfortable. Some nights, even after taking my meds, and having a heating pad on my back, hip, and legs, I still find myself lying bed, awake, and in pain.

10. Each day I take: an entire "makeup" bag full of medicine..

11. Regarding alternative treatments: I think alternative treatments are a great idea as long as you work with your primary care physician and naturopath to create the perfect treatment plan.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness and a visible one I would choose: This is such a hard question.. I think about it often. There are days where I wish I didn't have an illness, especially one that doesn't show how sick I feel. A lot of people disregard you as being "lazy" or "unreliable" because of certain limitations you might have. But then, there are some days where I thank God, and truly believe it is a blessing in disguise that people can't tell how sick I really am. I hate when people stare because you look sick, I know they are just curious but it kind of hurts.

13. Regarding work and career: I am still at the point in my disease where I haven't begun treatment, it will be a journey to get where I want to be but I'm not giving up. I go to school part-time, and I am currently looking for a job that works for me, not a job that I work for. Ultimately, i want to be happy and I've come to the realization that it doesn't happen over night.. anything in life worth something takes time, and a lot of hard work.

14. People would be surprised to know: That i take 16 pills a day.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality is: nothing is ever promised. Things that used to be so easy, and done without thought, are now as hard as ever, and have tons of thought put into it..

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness was: To be a mom. It is something I have always wanted, however never thought I could have the opportunity to experience. When the reality of my disease was in plain sight, I thought that was it for my dreams about becoming a mom. From what my doctors have told me, it's totally possible!

17. The commercials about my illness: The only commercial I have ever seen is on Global, and it's been the same commercial for the last 8+ years.. to add onto it, it's only shown around Lupus Awareness month. It doesn't portray the disease at all, it's a celebrity talking about how her mother's Lupus effected her.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed: I really miss sitting for long periods at a time, whether to watch a movie, or read a book. I usually can't sit for longer than an hour before starting to feel the pain really badly.

19. It was really hard for me to give up: Cooking. I love, love, love cooking. I used to cook every single night for my parents. They would come home every night to a home cooked meal. Since my disease has progressed, I have been unable to cook as I used to - my hands, back, legs, and hip hurt was too badly to keep up.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Youtube :) it has become part of my daily routine... it's so much fun for me and I love being able to help people!

21. If I could have one day of normal again I would: Have a fun-filled day of old traditions; hiking, baking, bike riding.. Oh, how I wish..

22. My illness has taught me: There is always somebody worse off then you... sometimes you need to look at the positive in life and look for life's blessings - they ARE there.. you just need to look for them.

23. One thing people say that gets under my skin is: Maybe if you didn't take so many pills, you wouldn't be so sick.. they are what is making you sick! Oh, the best one is.. maybe if you went to the gym more, your joints wouldn't hurt so much.. really? who gave you your PhD!

24. But I love it when people: Acknowledge your fight. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right... we all need a little bit of encouragement sometimes.

25. My favorite motto, quote, etc is: "These things were sent to try us..." AND your biggest worries are the ones that don't happen.

26. When someone is diagnosed I would like to tell them: Learn to laugh. When you want to cry, learn to be silly.. eventually, things will get better.. life is a journey. It helps keep things interesting :) =

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How fast life can change.. One minute, everything is fine.. the next, life is changed forever..

28. The nicest thing someone has done for me when I wasn't feeling well was: To come lay with me.. to keep me company. Usually when I'm really sick, just having company makes the world of difference.

29. I'm involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I'm not too sure what invisible illness week is so I'm going to go look it up after I finish this questionnaire.

30. The fact that you read this makes me feel: so honored. It is because of this that I do what I do. Not only do I love to educate people about my illness, I love to help people so they know they're not alone.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.. if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask :)

Note to Self

I was reading a fellow Lupie's blog this morning, and came across a post she had written at the beginning of September about a woman who lost her battle to Lupus. With her sudden passing, a letter was left, for all those both living with the disease, or coping with a loved one who suffers from the disease... this letter really pulled on my heart strings and I think they will for you too......


A Letter Written By a Lupus patient who apparently ended up Losing their battle with Lupus by Kym Tomlinson-Ryan on Thursday, September 2, 2010 at 9:09pm

A letter to be shared with friends and family by Theresa Stoops in Florida

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME My pain - My pain is not your pain. Taking your arthritis medication will not help me. I cannot work my pain out or shake it off. It is not even a pain that stays put. Today it is in my shoulder, but tomorrow it may be in my foot or gone. My pain is not well understood, but it is real.

My fatigue - I am not merely tired. I am often in a severe state of exhaustion. I may want to participate in physical activities, but I can't. Please do not take this personally. If you saw me shopping in the mall yesterday, but I can't help you with yard work today, it isn't because I don't want to. I am, most likely, paying the price for stressing my muscles beyond their capability

My forgetfulness - Those of us who suffer from it call it brain fog. I may not remember your name, but I do remember you. I may not remember what I promised to do for you, even though you told me just seconds ago. My problem has nothing to do with my age, but may be related to sleep deprivation caused by chronic pain. I do not have a selective memory. On some days, I just don't have any short-term memory at all.

My clumsiness - If I step on your toes or run into you five times in a crowd, I am not purposely targeting you. I do not have the muscle control for that. If you are behind me on the stairs, please be patient. These days, I take life and stairwells one step at a time.

My depression - Yes, there are days when I would rather stay in bed or in the house or die. I have lost count of how many of Dr. Kevorkian's patients suffered from Chronic Pain as well as other related illnesses. Severe, unrelenting pain can cause depression. Your sincere concern and understanding can pull me back from the brink. Your snide remarks can tip me over the edge.

My stress - My body does not handle stress well. If I have to give up my job, work part time, or handle my responsibilities from home, I'm not lazy. Everyday stresses make my symptoms worse and can incapacitate me completely.

My weight - I may be fat or I may be skinny. Either way, it is not by choice. My body is not your body. My ability to control my appetite is broken, and nobody can tell me how to fix it.

My need for therapy - If I get a massage every week, don't envy me. My massage is not your massage. Consider how a massage would feel if that charley horse you had in your leg last week was all over your body. Massaging it out was very painful, but it had to be done. My body is knot- filled. If I can stand the pain, regular massage can help, at least temporarily.My good days - If you see me smiling and functioning normally, don't assume I am well. I suffer from a chronic pain and fatigue illness with no cure. I can have my good days, weeks, or even months. In fact, the good days are what keep me going.

My uniqueness - Even those who suffer from chronic pain are not alike. That means I may not have all of the problems mentioned above. I do have pain above, below the waist, and on both sides of my body that has lasted for a very long time. I may have migraines, hip pain or shoulder pain, or knee pain, but I do not have exactly the same pain as anyone else. I hope that this helps you understand me,I have shared these thoughts with many "Lupies", as we call our self, and they agree with me. So when you see someone at the store who gets out of the Handi-cap space and they look fine -- Do not judge them as you may Not know their Inner pain.==== And always remember I LOVE YOU! ====

Yet another day...

With anything meaningful or purposeful comes change, and with change comes routine. I'm not necessarily someone who loves routine or change for that matter but I'm going to try my absolute hardest to keep with this new routine I have for myself :) I'm finding this way of doing things to be much easier than getting my computer ready in an uncomfortable position on my bed. I will try very hard, every night before bed to post a little blog on my dat and it went.

I had one of the most awful days/night yesterday. I cannot explain to you the torture that my body was put through :s I was able to take a short, hot bath today which took the edge off of the pain. Tonight proved to be much better than last night but still pretty much sucked. Lol... I never said I was always going to be positive!! Every now and again, you need to learn to laugh at yourself... Otherwise - well never make it through this!

Its a crisp fall night.. My window is open so I can hear the breeze and the leaves rustling in the air... This is my favorite time of year :) I was also able to carve my first pumpkin of the season..

Anywho.. Its late, and I'm exhausted.. I will check back in soon.. Plus, I have some pretty exciting news :D

Autumn Leaves.... not for good!

As I apply my anti-bacterial sanitizer, I am reminded that although it is Fall, beauty comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes - i wouldn't necessarily call bacteria beautiful, but it all depends on the eye of the beholder. As most of you know, Fall is my absolute favorite season of the year.. Warm sweaters, comfy boots, stylish scarves, mittens, and hats... oh, and don't forget the beautiful fall colors, from the leaves to the warm-toned nail polishes. With all of these exciting opportunities, right before the winter months come in, there is one thing, I am also reminded of when the leaves turn beautiful in color; GERMS!!! With summer swiftly turning into cold jacket weather, we must not forget that the school season begins, and with each school year beginning... a new set of germs, bacteria's and viruses are brought into the limelight.

Being someone who has an extremely compromised immune system, I do not take these virus' lightly. I used to look at colds, and cringe.. when you are someone who doesn't get sick very often, a simple seasonal cold can be an annoyance. To someone who suffers from extreme infections from these little old virus', "colds" can be your worst nightmare. People may think I'm anal for being so afraid of people who are sick, but if i wasn't.. these seemingly innocent colds, would land me in the hospital.. which they almost always do.

Every single month, without fail, some sort of little bug decides to attach to me, and wreck havoc on my body. As if I didn't have enough going on, I have to be blessed with these disgusting virus'. The only problem with this equation, is that these virus' land me in the hospital. The last time I caught a really bad virus, I was given the pleasure to spend my day/night in the Emergency room at the Credit Valley Hospital. It was a joy, let me tell you! With a cocktail of IV liquids to keep me hydrated and round the clock medication to take the edge off, I certainly did not appreciate these little germs that decided to move in on me - they had definitely over-stayed their welcome!

I would be lying if i didnt say this whole thing scared me, because it does. Each time my body endures another blow, I get paranoid. The bacteria that I'm currently fighting off has done a lot of harm to my body this time around. It started off with an innocent sore throat, and turned into something much more painful, and much more hard to get rid of. After going to the doctors, i was given a weeks worth of antibiotics, steroidal inhalers and sent on my merry way. With a combination of bronchitis and sinusitis, I was happy to finally be coming to the end of this extra battle. Little did i know, it would only be the beginning.

Tuesday started off, with me feeling a little bit better than the day before. I imagined that the antibiotics were definitely doing their job. The inhalers were opening up my chest, and allowing me the opportunity to know what fresh air felt like again. With swift instructions by the walk-in doctor to return if things did not get better, I thought for sure, I would be coming to the end of this bacteria's course. By Thursday afternoon, I could no longer fight the fact that this was not getting any better.. if anything it was getting worse. I could not eat or drink, for my mouth burned so badly - popsicles became my new best friend. Is it sad to say, that as women, we tend to thrive on being ill? We always look at it as an opportunity to shed some pounds. Too bad dealing with Lupus and PCOS makes for an almost impossible situation to lose weight, it doesn't matter how sick you are!

To make a long story, semi short, Friday night, was not a good night. I ate dinner, as usual, at around 6:00pm. Almost suddenly after finishing dinner, I began to feel as if something was stuck in my stomach and throat. Had I not been able to get my food down or was this something else? After over 3 hours of dealing with this annoyance, I began feeling sick to my stomach. After trying to vomit, I quickly began to see that this was going to be another night, I would not soon forget. I began dry-heaving, with my mom on the phone with Telehealth Ontario. They have really become our source of information throughout all of this, I don't know what i would do without them. I began dry heaving what seemed to look like mucus from my lungs.. the more it began happening, the more apparent it became that this was not just mucus from my lungs, there was blood. I immediately began to freak out, and play the why me card.. why, after all these years of suffering.. why. My saliva, yet again, began to become thick, and sticky; this is definitely not the first time this has happened. Like the speed of light, we turned into fast mode. Having done this before, my mom grabbed the benadryl to try and relax my breathing, my dad grabbed the ice chips and my mom began checking my blood pressure and heart rate. 65/51 with a heart rate of 60. For someone who used to have high blood pressure, this can be very concerning. Immediately, she tried again; 165/151 with a heart rate of 130... something was not right. It is during times such as these, that I get scared. I try not to let this disease scare me, and what it is capable of doing but when something like this happens, i get scared for my life, and for my family.

As much as I love the fall months, they also scare me. It has become apparent to all of us here, that preventative precautions must be taken to keep me as healthy as possible. My mom purchased masks a while ago, which i will have to start using regularly. I already carry hand sanitizer in my purse, and in my room. Now, when people decide to come over, they will have to sanitize their hands upon coming in, and if your sick, you have to stay away. I know this may sound rude, or maybe even mean, but I just can't take getting sick anymore. When i get sick, I REALLY get sick.

I hope everyone is doing well, and applying their sanitizer's regularly!

Talk to you soon,

Come rain, or come shine...

Life is beautiful, OR so they say. I have yet to find the silver lining in this beautiful situation called my health. At my age, we should be saying.. with each passing day, our opportunities become endless.. my little motto begins with, each passing day, my opportunities dwindle. Is this some sort of joke? Did the big guy upstairs think it would be funny to play some pranks on us down here? I realize you would like to have a good time.. i would imagine it might get boring up there, but at my expense? Come on!

Listen, I can't complain, i have it pretty good.. I can walk, I can talk, I'm alive. I also know, that I'm not Oprah, and you didn't come to my blog thinking I was so spare me the guilt, and let me vent. My life is anything but a walk in the park.. I guess I make the best of it, given what I know now. When are we really able to give ourselves the luxury of complaining, or feeling sorry for ourselves? There is always someone worse off than us... we would be one big world of Harpo's Angel Network... with hope, and inspiration, and never ending dreams. I have dreams for myself.. I always have. When however, do those dreams feel too far to reach? With my computer battery dying.. I leave you with those words of wisdom. Thanks for tunning in :)

Until next time,

No, no. no. no. sorry what? no.

I had spent most of my life doing what I want, saying what I want, eating what I want and hearing what I want.. Don't we all, as kids? I think I spent most of my childhood, taking what I had for granted. I was not always the smartest, nor was I the skinniest or the most behaved, I had my fair share of problems. I don't think we realize how good we have it until all of that changes. Maybe were made to feel invinsible at a young age.. I mean, who really wants to teach their kids about all of the horrible things in this world?? Certainly not me! Could you say I was sheltered? Yeah, maybe. Although by no fault than my own. Looking back, I guess I always took the easy way out. Was it because I could.. Who knows, really. I never will know why I did the things that I did as a child, I can only make up for it now, as an adult. Its actually quite funny.. Me, as a wife and a mother! The prospect of it isn't funny, its something I've dreamt of all my life. The idea that I will be a wife and a mother in a few short years ju
st blows my mind. Time feels endless, yet so short all at the same time!

I spent my entire childhood, surrounded by people who a.) Went to school all day every day and never had an absence, and b.) Never had to even think about doctors and tests. From a pretty young age, I think a part of me realized that I was the only one around me getting sick so frequently. It didn't even phase me, even up into my high school years that something was seriously wrong. If you know me, you know I spent most of my childhood school days, making up for missed tests or assignments. To be quite honest.. I really, genuinely thought that I just had bad luck. I guess my point is, we take so many things for granted both young and old.. Not once growing up, or even in high school did I think I would be faced with a life threatening chronic illness... You just don't think about that.. With a new chapter in the near future, I've been thinking about these kinds of things...

Do I shelter my kids from the reality of my disease.. What is the right and the wrong way to do things? As I lay in bed, fighting off a bacterial bronchitis and sinusitis.. With my joints feeling so terrible they could fall off right now! These are the things I think about.. After being yelled at for me being awake at 2:00 in the morning, it is becoming more apparent that the only person here and ready to support me, is me.. Nobody understands what I go through on a daily basis and I guess I shouldn't expect anybody to...

Until next time <3

Why, oh why!

Where do i begin? 'stares blankly at her wall.. my night couldn't have had any more problems, even if i wanted it to. Now I know why I barely take any time on my hair! You know when something bad happens, and after a certain amount of time between the incident and the next time you try something - you oddly forget how awful the incident was. Does that make any sense or am i just talking jibberish?? Regardless, let me get to my point. I am someone who likes the little things in life; doing my nails different colors, straightening my hair, doing my makeup.. it may be superficial and a tad materialistic but there is a difference between wanting these things in my routine, and needing them. If i need to, and when i want to, i can go without all of these things. One thing I have realized throughout this painful journey of dealing with a chronic illness, is that there is so much pain and darkness, you MUST do things to make yourself feel better. Does that mean everything has to be prim and proper all the time? No, of course not! It just means I enjoy taking care of myself; it helps me put the agonizing pain, in the back of my mind.

Well, although I take deep pride in taking care of myself, I have to be honest with you; i let myself go. This last week and a bit, I have been in such a rut, I completely let myself spiral down. Not only have i been getting sick with yet another virus, my joints and back have been horrible.. So, let me paint a not so pretty picture for you. I love to take baths every night before bed, it helps calm me down, it relaxes my muscles, and it helps with inflammation. My hands are getting to be so bad, that whenever i go to brush my hair in the shower with conditioner, my hands and fingers swell up immediately. The simple action of brushing my hair, causes a great deal of pain for me. Due to the fact that I hadn't taken care of my hair this week... and lets be honest - we've all done it! I had huge nots in my hair. I have a ton of curls, which could be the reason why.. either way, getting them out was horrible! I stupidly, decided to dye my hair tonight, in preparation for fall. Not only was that a job on its own, taking care of the after effects of it were agonizing. To add ontop of the stupidity, i decided to straighten my hair, another horrible choice on my part! Sure, I look better, and I guess I feel better emotionally but my fingers are ready to fall off.. I don't know what I'm going to do with this tired old body but it's shutting down... slowly, but surely.

I hope everyone had a wonderful first week back at school or work :)

Lots of love,

Love it or Leave it

I don't know what the heck happened this past week and a half but let me tell you, it would be a week that I wouldn't mind forgetting. Every time I go through a rough patch, I think to myself "this is THE worst day, ever. How could it possibly get any worse????" Oh, it can. I've spent many hours, trying to figure out where or when i went wrong. Maybe, if I stopped cracking my knuckles at 13, I wouldn't be in this much pain now. Maybe, if i worse my slippers on cold floors like my grandma says to do, maybe I wouldn't be tortured with pain every single day; all things that, deep down, I know is not true but deep down, I can't help but blame myself. Do you know what it feels like, to wear a studded jacket? A jacket filled with sharps nails embedded within it.... Well, I do - I felt it today.

With my dad redoing my bedroom, my parents thought it would be the most opportune time to see how much it would cost us to purchase a new bedroom set. I felt so horribly sick today, that I took advantage of the lonely wheelchair sitting outside The Brick. My dad had fun pushing me around, while we tried to look for my future bedroom. With only 10 minutes until close, we narrowed it down to a few. I was not in the best of moods to be shopping around for something so expensive, but I went with the flow because what other choice did i have. We could have come back another day, but what would I be doing at home? Probably laying in bed, with no fresh air, and no company.

Do I always want to go somewhere, and leave the comfort of my home and bed?? No, not really. The only justification i can make, is that I'm not alone if I go with my family. It doesn't matter what we are doing, whether we are redoing my bedroom, or laying on the couch.. the pain is always there, it always follows me. Just because, I choose to have a little change of scenery, doesn't mean that I'm magically all better. We're all fighting some sort of battle, remember that.

Talk soon :)

PAIN-FULL!

pain   /peɪn/ Show Spelled[peyn] Show IPA
–noun
1. physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc.
2. a distressing sensation in a particular part of the body: a back pain.
3. mental or emotional suffering or torment: I am sorry my news causes you such pain

Although pain may be constant, or short-lived. The noun, or the act of pain, is widespread. Regardless of your race, religion, or gender; pain does not exclude or discriminate. People of all walks of life suffer from some sort of pain. Pain is not cruel, and does not leave the youngest of people out. Regardless of your age, occupation, or status in society; pain, suffering, and illness do not care. Some may say that God only gives us as much as we can handle. Although I do agree with that statement, I also believe he gives us a little bit more than we can handle, to show us how strong we really are. The last 6 years of my life, have been filled with test after test, after test. I'm not talking about a school test. Heck, I'm not even talking about a medical test. What I'm talking about, is something deeper, something more spiritual. My world has been filled with life tests!

I wake up each morning, not knowing what I will be faced with. I used to be someone who loved making plans. I loved making plans days, weeks, even years in advance. Something that anyone with a chronic illness will tell you, the minute you begin to feel the pain, is the minute your life begins to lose the action of planning. I was someone who loved to plan my life out, to a T! Where I was going to live, what I was going to eat for dinner, even when I was going to go to sleep and bathe. When faced with a lifelong chronic illness, you begin to realize that you dont own your pain, your pain owns you. Does this mean that you give up, and stop caring? No! Definitely not! What it means, is that, your once planned out life, doesn't seem so stable anymore. Instead of planning to have a shower when I wake up in the morning, I know rely on how I feel, and when I feel well enough to bathe. Sleep patterns become non-existant. Your daily sleep relies on how you are feeling when your head hits the pillow. Some nights, I am so exhausted, I fall asleep at 6:30pm and wake up at midnight. Some nights, I am so exhausted, that the thought of sleep makes me sleepy but unfortunately, that doesn't always work; pain keeps me up, WAY past my bedtime. Some days, I am in so much pain, the moment I begin to fall asleep is when my dad is leaving for work at 6:00am. Some people may look at you as unreliable.. so be it! I am living my life, the best way I know how. I am trying to cope, with what I have been given, and if that offends people, or makes people mad, well I'm sorry. When I am laying in bed at night, in excruciating pain, they are in their comfy bed, snoring away. Each day is different, yet so awfully the same.. you never know how awful you are going to feel, the minute you open your eyes. This morning, I woke up at 10:30am, in so much pain, that the thought of going downstairs to make myself something to eat was impossible. It took everything I had, to push myself. After one pain medication didn't help, it was time to try a second. Most of the time, on days like today, where the pain is so horrible, 2 pain medications usually put me to sleep. Do I sit in my bed all day and do absolutely nothing? No, I don't. Am I in so much excruciating pain that the thought of standing up makes you want to vomit. Yes. I try my very hardest to do the best with what I have been given. Do i always do the right thing? No, but I try. No on has the right to judge my situation, until they have been put in the same position, and even than, God has the final say.

Whether you yourself are living with a lifelong chronic illness, or someone you love is suffering. It is important to know, that life isn't always as perfect as it may seem. We are all trying our best, to live with what we've been given. Whether you have cancer, or allergies, or are living with a terminal illness - pain inflicts all of us, and it's our job to help those in need any way we can. Chronic pain due to illness is a horrible thing to have to deal with, so next time you feel the need to comment on someone who is trying to just live a normal life. Remember, it could be you in that position.. and wouldn't you want someone to help you and understand you?? Instead of always looking at the negative, try and turn it into a positive. Instead of looking at someone leaving work or a party early, think about what it took for them to even come. The effort that was put in, to show up. With a disease as complex as Lupus, sometimes taking a pain med isn't the easiest answer. Lupus effects many areas of the body, and it is important to remember that no two lupus patients are ever the same. Knowledge is power! So, make yourself aware :)!

Lots of love,

You can call me... "The Diet Doctor" (lol)

With my stomach growling in hunger, at 2:00am in the morning - I found this the most opportune time to write a diet/lifestyle post. How fitting! I have been on my fair share of diets in the past, from Weight Watchers to no carbs, and back! Me and food, you see, we have a love-hate relationship. Since I have decided that food will no longer have me, and I will do everything I can to help my Lupus, it seemed like an awfully good time to make some changes in my life, especially when it had to do with diet. Here, is another "a day in the life of" to show you all how easy it can really be. Food doesn't have to be scary, and neither does cooking!

| BREAKFAST |
- English muffin (white or whole wheat) with Peanut Butter & Jam
- Glass of Milk
- Sliced Cantoulope or Apple

| SNACK |
- Sliced cucumber with a dash of salt
- Celery with Cheese Whiz
- Bottle of water with or without Crystal Light

| LUNCH |
- Cucumber , Tomato, and Onion salad mixed with Extra Virgin Olive Oil{EVOO}, vinegar & Half salt
- Express Rice Package in flavor Carbonara
- Glass of Diet, Caffeine-free Pepsi with ice {you dont pour as much when there is ice}

| SNACK |
- Baskin Robbbins Maui Brownie Frozen Yogurt {210 Calories} (I believe)

| DINNER |
- Haddock
- Light ceasar salad
- 3 tbsp of rice
- small bowl of tomato soup with crackers

| SNACK |
- Bowl of green seedless grapes
- Pomegranate spritzer

I hope this gives you an idea of neat meal ideas. I would love for you to try it too!
Love, always.

{I}{nsom}{nia} some sleep!

Last night was horrible. To say the least. With my pool therapy starting last night, my back was thrown into severe shock. I was in so much pain, I felt like breaking my back. I can't explain to you, what it feels like, to be so irritated with your joints, that breaking them off, seems easier to deal with than the pain. When pain gets this bad, sleeping is an issue too. How is anyone supposed to sleep, when their back feels like it's being ripped open with blades.. The worst part about sleeping, is knowing that as soon as your head hits the pillow, the next day wont be any different. The exciting part about life, is knowing that each day will be different than the last. When each day resembles one another, life begins to become a little drab. Can you not understand what people with a chronic illness such as Lupus feel like? Let me help you.. Picture the last time you got sick with the flu. The joint pain, the muscle aches, the tension headache; ultimately feeling like you've been hit by a mack truck. Well, times that by 10, and picture feeling like that, every single day of your life. Voila! You've guessed it.. it's living hell. Most days, I try to stay strong, and optimistic. However, some days, are just too hard to bare, and I break down. Lack of sleep is usually never good for anybody, but with a disease like Lupus and Fibromyalgia, fatigue, and lack of sleep can be detrimental. Something that you will hear me talk about quite frequently is called restorative sleep. The point of sleep, called NREM; non-rapid eye movement. Apparently, I have been unable to achieve this state of sleep, which enhances any pain i might have. My family physician put me on a medication called Nortriptyline. It is used as a "sleeping pill" for people with chronic diseases. Although it is mainly used as an antidepressant in higher doses, the lower doses are used to aid in sleep patterns and pain. One more med to add to the list... I hope this gives me some kind of relief!

Until next time... <3

Perimeter, Perimeter, Perimeter!

When grocery shopping, keep one thing in mind! On the off chance that you might find good, slightly healthy things in the middle isle of your grocery store - all the good foods, will be found on the outside perimeter of your grocery store. If you think about most packaged foods, found in the middle of your local market, the reason that most are packaged, is due to harmful fats, and chemicals that allow them to stay packaged for so long. In order to find a healthy well-balanced meal, doing the majority of your grocery shopping on the perimeter will insure, delicious, healthy foods. Here is a brief "a day in the life of" what I eat in a typical day. You can substitute some of the veggies, change up the protein.. the main sensus here, is the quality of food that you are eating.

| BREAKFAST |
- 1 cup/packet of Brown sugar {Health Check} Oatmeal - replace water with a 1/2 a cup of milk-
- 1 bowl of grapes
- water or pomegranate spritzer

| SNACK |
- Yogurt
- Green snap peas or soy beans

| LUNCH |
- Hummus
- Naan bread or small baby pita's
- Cream of mushroom soup

| SNACK |
- Fruit bowl {Grapes, orange, apple... ect. Use half an orange to cut up, and half an orange to squeeze out the juice as a dressing}

| DINNER |
- 1 cup of Whole Grain or White Rice
- Cut up your favorite veggies {carrots, onions, green pepper, broccoli} and saute with Worshtishire sauce
- 1 cup of pre-cooked beef {sauted with your veggies}
- Roasted, oven Asparagus with a drizzle of olive oil and a dash of salt

| SNACK |
If you are still hungry after all that food! A healthier choice during a movie, would be low-fat popcorn. Always remember, never eat 2 hours before bed!

I will provide you with daily ideas for meal plans, as I prepare them.


Happy & Healthy eating!

Weigh OVER it

As part of my treatment plan begins, I am beginning to look at myself a little differently. Yesterday was my follow up appointment with my family physician where we discussed treatment options. I was finally recognized as having a chronic illness. We discussed my pain meds, and for what I am facing, 5 pills a day, is not a lot compared to some. We discussed my sleep patterns, and how much sleep and stress effects the severity of the arthritis. Collectively, she decided to put me on a "sleeping pill". Although it is not a true form of sleeping pills, it does aid in reaching restorative sleep. Due to all of the chronic issues I'm dealing with, attaining a good level of restorative sleep is crucial in my recovery and managament of the disease.

For some strange, parculiar reason, my image on diet, and health have changed drastically. I have gone many days, months, and years, wanting to change my eating habits and my activity level, however I never felt driven enough to do it. About a week ago, something clicked. It's not about dieting, or even physical activity - it's about being healthy, and changing your lifestyle. I am SO over being the one that doesn't take care of themselves. I was always conscious as to what I was putting in my body, but I don't think I ever attributed it to my problems. I always figured, what's a small plate of fries going to do... Well, eventually, it adds up. I decided to kick out all of the bad things in my life, and change the way I look at food. Although I still allow myself the odd guilty pleasure, I FEEL healthier. I will go over a possible meal plan for everyone, what I eat - "a day in the life of".

The main course of treatment in excercise is very minimal for the time being. I have been restricted from going to any gym until we start to see improvements from my medications. For now, my physical activity involves 15 minutes in the pool, every day, working on stretching, and working my joints. Along with pool activity, 15 minutes a day walking, either outside or on the treadmill, to help loosen my joints. Is there a guarantee that all of this will help at all? No, there isn't. However, when you are in as much pain as I am in - anything will help. I am trying my very hardest to live a better life, and reach a point where my body needs pain medications to function without being in excruciating pain. I will continuously fill you in on my progress, and give helpful tips along the way.

Oh, and incase you haven't noticed.... I'm WEIGH over it! I have currently lost almost 5 pounds, in just 1 short week. *cheering*

Until next time <3

| My beautiful butterfly...

It seems as though doctors and patients aren't necessarily on the same page as one another. Never in my life, have I seen someone with a clear butterfly rash, that does not have Lupus. Before asking about any other symptoms, the first thing a rheumatologist will ask you is, have you ever experienced the malar "butterfly" rash? Well, according to my "rheumatologist......." you can have all of my symptoms and not have Lupus. Hm, something doesn't add up. Thankfully, I have many people behind me; family, as well as medical professionals. I don't know where my family and I would be without my Gynecologist! I know what you're thinking.. Gynecologist? Doesn't that have to do with reproductive organs? Normally, you would think so. In my case however, my obgyn has been heaven sent! I would advise that if any of you are going through any type of medical crisis, you find someone who can be your advocate - whether it be family, friends, doctors.. whoever is willing to back you up 100% of the time. For me, it's my parents, and my obgyn. I was basically told to disregard everything the rheumatologist told me, and focus on getting the answers to show that it is Lupus. There was absolutely no doubt in her mind, that it is Lupus. If she could have diagnosed me right there and than, she probably would have - that's how sure she was. Apparently, it is very rare to find positive antibodies in young people and if by chance they do, it is strictly by chance. For so long, I was made to think that I was crazy. You have Bipolar Disorder, you have Fibromyalgia, you have Epilepsy, you have GERD. My parents always said, there has to be a bigger picture. No one this young, has THAT many things wrong with them. It has been a long hard battle to get here, but finally I'm getting answers.

Love to all,

Bermuda... triangle?

Bermuda, Bahamas.... baby why dont we gooo! Okay, well.. the truth is, I don't know how that song goes! What I do know however, is that I had a pretty wonderful time! Although it's Bermuda, and you would assume it would be really hot there. For some reason, I didn't realize just how HOT it would be. A good portion of Lupus sufferers, suffer from something called Sun sensitivity. Yes, I am sensitive to the sun and I went to one of the hottest places, ever... in the middle of the summer? Please explain the logic in that! Truth be told, it was my parents 25th wedding anniversary and they were kind enough to want to spend it as a family. There was no way I was passing that up! We were able to visit Boston, and see how beautiful it really is there; definiely one of my favorite cities thus far. Little did i know, the heat and the sun in this beautiful paradise was going to make me very very ill... After our first day on the island, I was up all night with hot and cold sweats, I was vomitting, and I had some other not so pleasant symptoms. Thankfully, I came prepared, and brought everything I would have needed. One drastic change you must make when you are chronically ill, is the knowledge that every little thing you do, could make you sick. You have to be constantly ready for that! Especially, so far away from home. All in all, I was still able to enjoy myself, without TOO much sun, and with the aid of LOTS of sun protection. The trip, to Bermuda.. was an ultimate success. Did I get sick? Yes. Did my joints act up? Yes. Was I in horrible pain the entire trip? Yes. Did I get to spend an amazing vacation with my family? Yes, and that is the most important part.

Talk to you soon <3

Blog - what blog?

I feel like I say this WAY too much - it has to stop! Life gets the best of me, and my blog takes a back seat. I am so sorry. I have had so much going on these past few months, as sad as it sounds, my blog has been the least of my priorities. As most of you know, I am currently in school, working towards my bachelor of arts in Psychology. My exams are coming up at the end of the month so I am going off no sleep. It's all about the studies. It kind of works out, as my meds have been keeping me up lately. I swear, I have insomnia! Although I am so tired all the time, for some reason, my body just wont fall asleep. I'll use it to my advantage, and study hard for the next few weeks. I have quite a few updates and interesting information that I'll be posting over the new few days and the weeks to come. Check back for lots of interesting info!

Talk soon <3

My life's a little lupie!!

Okay, so, based on my 3 month leave from my blog - I have been seriously M.I.A. Life has been so hectic and busy lately, I have had absolutely no time to update my blog. My family was forced to deal with an unexpected emergency that took most of our time away these last few weeks. My grandfather was severely ill, and was in Intensive Care for just over 2 weeks. It put so much stress on my body, that I am just now, going through the after effects of the stress on my body. This last week has been very difficult and I am trying my very best to get through each day. To be 100% honest, I'm not even really in the mood to write on my blog, but I thought I would leave a little update. I don't intend to be MIA any longer, everything is beginning to die down. I will be going on vacation with my family next week so realistically, you won't get many blog posts out of me in the coming weeks. I am hoping to start blogging full time at the beginning of August.

For those of you who don't already know - I have started a youtube channel. It has really useful information on how to deal with the daily struggles of Lupus and Fibromyalgia.

I will check back in soon:)

Lazy, Lazy, Lazy..

I think the title pretty much speaks for itself. I had another major flare not too long ago; I was in the hospital for a day getting hydrated with fluids and lots of tylenol! Oh the joys..

I don't know why, but I haven't been too driven lately, as far as my blog is concerned. I have no idea why, so don't ask! lol.. I am hoping that things turn around for me soon, I miss my blog! I just can't bring myself to sit down and write.. Anywho, my event is coming up in just over a month so I'm hoping to get some more stuff up as soon as I can. We have lots of sponsors lined up!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter, and please check in soon for more updates and useful information!!

Biopsy!

It's Tuesday, it's tuesday! Well, today isn't technically Tuesday BUT on March 30th, I will get the results back from my Biopsy! I didn't think this day could come fast enough.. I'm really hoping something shows up. That's really weird isn't it? Well, for most of us, we have been dealing with this disease for a long time so finally having a diagnosis would mean that treatment can finally be started and I can start living my life! For anyone who is diagnostic limbo.. just hold on tight, it will come eventually. I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, and I will get more information up soon!

<3

I'm back:)

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.. I am so embarrassed I haven't blogged in 2 weeks, that is so not like me. I was having a really hard time for a bit there. My back flared up really badly again, and I was back to using my cane for a while. Things are getting a little bit better but it's still a daily struggle.. Each day, whether I'm having a flare or not is filled with pain, and each day, I have to find new ways to deal with my ever-changing life. I hope everyone is doing well and flare-free:) I will try my very hardest to remain a constant fixture until the next flare...

bye for now xo

Update:

I just wanted to leave a quick update. I am so sorry I haven't posted in about a week. I have been having a major flare and it has effected me pretty badly. My thinking is not what it once was. I'm hoping this flare will end soon, I'm starting to get annoyed. I have no energy to put into my blog - I am sorry for that. I will check in soon.

Health and healing to all of you :)!

A special message from a Messenger

I have never read a book quite like this before. It was beautifully written - a mothers struggle through the life and death of her cherished son. The amount of pain that this family had to endure in such a short time, made me think about my own life. It brought me to tears on countless ocassions, and forced me to re-evaluate my life. So many times, we take advantage of both the people around us, and the situations we have been dealt. However sad this book may seem, it had the absolute adverse effect, it made you hopeful, it showed the true human spirit and how strong we really are. I could not put this book down. When everything was said and done, I completed the book in about 4-5 days. I would definitely recommend this book, not just to mothers, or people suffering from a debilitating illness.. I recommend that everyone take some time out of their day to learn about this little angel, and his message from God.

Treating pain at home

I decided to visit the Library last night, and decided to pick up some books on Arthritis. I looked everywhere for books on Lupus but could find absolutely nothing. No Chapters book store in Canada carried any books on Lupus, it had to be ordered. After searching through these resourceful books, i found a really great tip on how to treat pain at home. I am about to go try it but thought I would share it with all of you and see how it works for you.

Contrast baths

Make sure you start with two large pans, or you can use a kitchen sink in your house. Fill one of the pans and/or sinks with warm water and the other with cold water.

Place your effected joint in the warm water for (10)minutes and then in the cold water for (1)minute. Cycle back and forth between the two sinks or pans. You may continue this process for up to (30)minutes. Make sure you always end with the warm water. *Use warm, not hot, water.*

All of this information can be found in The Mayo Clinic on Arthritis; conquering the pain and leading an active life book.

Review:
*Ok everyone, here it is... drum roll! I did try this, and here is what I think. I think it is an amazing way to relieve pain *temporarily*. The pain in my joints aren't as bad, but it does begin to wear off shortly afterwards. I would reccomend this to people who are in extreme pain, and just want to take the edge off. I don't know that I would rely on it to take away all of the pain*

A Prayer..

Amongst all of the hype and excitement of the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics, I would like to extend my deepest sympathies to those who have been affected by the earthquake in Chile. With threats of a Tsunaimi on the coast of Hawaii and British Columbia, I want us all to remember where we came from, and who we are - people who show our support and love when it is needed most.

Foods that Benefit You...

- Fish & Seafood {cold water, oily fish may help reduce inflammation}
- Chicken, turkey, and veal instead of red meat
- Vegetables {lots of dark greens}
- Fruits
- Polyunsaturated Oils
- Wholefoods {whole wheat bread}
- Water

This information may also be found in Readers Digest; Alternative Answers to Arthritis and Rheumatism.

Food Irritants

- Beef, pork, and other red meats
- Wheat, barley, oats and rye
- Sugar, and sweet things
- Fat & fried foods {some fats can have an inflammatory effect}
- Salt
- Caffein
- Dairy produce
- Smoked and prossessed meats
- Alcohol
- Fizzy drinks {can deplete calcium levels}
- Refined carbohydrates
- Additives and perservatives
- Acidic foods {vinegar, citrus foods, and orange juice}
- Chocolate
- Eggs, nuts, seeds, and onions

This information can also be found in Readers Digest; Alternative Answers To Arthritis and Rheumatism.

I am not a medical professional, so, in no way is this meant to be taken as such.. It is just some interesting information that I thought I would share.

Homemade Warming Massage Oil

I found this remedy in a book that I took out from the Library, and I thought I would share it with all of you. I have yet to try it, but once I do, I will let you you all know how it works.

1.) 2 tsp (10ML) soybean oil
2.) 2 drops of wheat germ oil
3.) 3 drops of pimento oil

It's as easy as 1, 2, 3!

This homemade recipe can be found in Readers Digest; Alternative Answers To Arthritis & Rheumatism.

Did you know?

What Causes Lupus?

There are certain factors that may contribute to a Lupus causes which include; viruses, environmental chemicals, and a person's genetic makeup.

Female hormones are also found to play a part in the development of Lupus. This is especially true during a womans child-bearing years, as hormone levels are at their all-time high.

With an observation that 10% of all Lupus patients, have a relative that suffers from the disease, lets us know that there may be a slight tendency of Lupus being an inherited disease. However, this information DOES NOT mean that a diagnosis can be predicted.

Who is affected by Lupus?

Lupus can affect men AND women of any age, or race. (1) in (2000) people in the United States suffers from Lupus. People of African, Asian, and Native American descent are more likely to develop the disease.

If only women of childbearing (14-45 years old), are considered, (1) in (250) may develop Lupus in their lifetime. This suggests that there is a possible role for female hormone levels to influence the vulnerability of the disease.

How is Lupus diagnosed?

The diagnosis of Lupus is best made by an experienced physician who understands Lupus, and the different diseases and conditions that may mimic it. The overall diagnosis is made when a patient has several of the listed symptoms, findings on examination, and blood abnormalities. It is best, that during a Lupus diagnosis, the patient refers to a {Rheumatologist} for confirmation of diagnosis.

How is Lupus treated?

The type of treatment will depend on several different factors, including a persons age, the type of medications they are currently on, their overall health, medical history, as well as location, and the severity of the disease.

Due to the fact that Lupus is a disease that can change over time, and is not always predictable, a critical part of health care is routine appointments with your rheumatologist.

What problems may Lupus patients develop?

Many patients with active Lupus, feel poorly in general and may complain of fever, weight loss, and fatigue. People who suffer from Lupus may also develop specific problems when the immune system attacks a certain organ(s), or other area(s) in the body.


Information found at: www.doctoroz.com

Veggie-full Information

Mr. Oz, the love of my life - where would I be without you? Everyday, at 5:00pm, after Oprah! If you know me, you know that I love Oprah & Doctor Oz. Today, on his show, he discussed certain cancer-fighting foods that could probably help in people suffering from Lupus. A majority of the foods listed are foods that are good anti-inflammatory agents. Suffering from extreme joint pain, swelling, and stiffness, this seems like a pretty good answer to me. I will make a list of the certain foods that you should make sure you pick up at your next grocery store visit!

Vegetables & Fruits

1.) Leafy Greens
2.) Brussel Sprouts
3.) Tomatoes
4.) Beets
5.) Carrots
6.) Sweet Potatoes
7.) Squash
8.) Broccoli
9.) Onions, leeks, shallots
10.) Mushrooms
11.) Lentils
12.) Peppers; bell & jalapeno
13.) Spinach
14.) Oranges
15.) Grapefruit
16.) Lemon
17.) Lime
18.) Apples
19.) Berries; blueberries, strawberries, rasberries
20.) Apricots
21.) Pomegranetes
22.) Mango

Whole Grains

1.) Whole grains (bread, pasta, tortillas)
2.) Oats
3.) Flaxseed
4.) Quinoa

Spices

1.) Cinnamon {contains anti-inflammtory agents}
2.) Garlic {containts anti-inflammatory agents}

Everything seen here, you can get at www.doctoroz.com

Patience.

It takes one person. One person, to make things happen. One person, to leave an impression, and One person, to make you believe. Before today, I didn't think it was possible to have a doctor think that there was a way to solve everything. Until now, I had 2 doctors tell me that they whole heartedly believed that I have Lupus, and a family doctor who knew nothing more about medicine than the common cold. I am so thankful to have waited, remained patient, for that one doctor that confirmed all of my intuitions about my illness. She, too, strongly believes that I suffer from Lupus - 3 down, 1 more to go. I have a doctors appointment with my Rheumatologist in June where I will ultimately find out what it is that has been plaguing me for so long. Obviously, Lupus would be the last thing that I would want to happen, but until you understand what its like to worry, to worry about what has been wrecking havoc on your body for so long, this is a good thing. Finally, it means that I have someone who is listening. Throughout this entire process, I have felt nothing but crazy. Crazy for believing that doctors could help me, crazy that I was even in this boat in the first place, and crazy that this was happening to me. How many wasted days, I have cried myself to sleep, in so much pain. Regardless of how hard this new road will be, I am happy to be taking it - because for once, it means that I am not taking it alone, and that there is actually a road to be taken. As of now, I have had no clear path, just dirt trails.

Today didn't come with all good news. When it rains, it pours. I was told by my endocrinologist today, that she believes I am pre-diabetic. Wait a second, are you kidding me! With all of the other crazy stuff I'm dealing with, DIABETES! Thankfully, we caught it early and I can change things but holy cow. How long has this been going on with doctors just failing to see it. I can't tell you, how many blood tests I have had done, checking my sugars. It really opened my eyes - things have to change. I am living in a cocoon - i need to be set free, i need to fly. There is no worse feeling in the world than knowing that you have no control over what is going to happen to. I feel like someone, decided to plan my life without me. There are certain things I cannot control, like the Lupus BUT there are certain things I can control, like the diabetes. I need to be thankful that things were not worse, they could have been. This blog is not only an outlet towards my Lupus diagnosis but yet a blog towards the trials and tribulations that I call my life. If just one person, learns from my experience, and all of the mistakes I have made in the past regarding my doctors, then it has all been worth it.

I'm not one of those people that like to hide things, and not share my knowledge - I think that is so selfish. Do you remember in high school, there was always that person that continually got 90% on a test but never wanted to help anyone do better, they just rubbed it in your face? Yeah, totally not me. If I can help, I am going to. I should be referred to a Diabetes clinic out of either Credit Valley or Trillium by summer so I will share all my knowledge on weight loss, keeping a healthy body, and most importantly.. keeping a healthy mind. Patience everyone, patience!

Hell, meet Stephanie. Stephanie, meet Hell..

For the first time since 2006, when I couldn't keep a single thing down - i witnessed a little piece of what my life used to be like. I have had my fair share of dealing with this disease, but today, I reached a breaking point. At around 9:30, I experienced the most intense pain, I have felt in a very long time. With my back, and joint pain, already wrecking havoc on my body - the big bad wolf decided to show its face too. Without warning, my head felt like it was exploding, into a million pieces. I could not open my eyes until dark, and any sound made it feel like raser blades being shoved into my brain. I had THE worst migraine, I have had in a very long time. Back when I used to suffer from migraines almost every week, I was quickly put on medication to help. Since then, I have come off of them and have not had one of these migraines, in a very long time. With the littlest sound making me want to be sick, I could not handle it. It took 4 baths, lots of vicks vapor rub on my temples, and many meds later. Finally, some peace and quiet in my brain. I had THE worst day, in years. Not only was I dealing with my "normal" joint and back pain, that I deal with everyday, I was not dealing with raser blades being shoved into my brain. Ugh... what. a. day.

Sorry in advance for the title, it's the only thing I could think of to capture how I was feeling today...

Keywords ✩

✩ A ✩

ACUTE: Of short duration & coming on suddenly
ADRENAL GLANDS : Small organs, located above the kidney, that produce many hormones, including corticosteroids & epinephrine
ALBUMIN: A protein that circulates in the blood & carries materials to cells
ALBUMINURIA: A protein in urine
ALOPECIA: Hair loss
ANAEMIA: A condition resulting from low red blood cell counts
ANALGESIC: A drug that alleviates pain (painkiller)
ANTIBODIES: Special protein substances made by the body's white cells for defense against bacteria & other foreign substances
ANTICARDIOLIPIN ANTIBODY: An antiphospholipid antibody
ANTI-DNA: Antibodies to DNA; seen in half of those with systemic lupus & implies serious disease
ANTI-ENA: Old term for extractable nuclear antibodies, which largely consist of anti-SM & anti-RNP antibodies
ANTIGEN: A substance that stimulates antibody formation;in lupus, this can be a foreign substance or a product of the patient's own body
ANTI-INFLAMMATORY: An agent that counteracts or suppresses inflammation
ANTIMALARIALS: Drugs originally used to treat malaria that are helpful for lupus
ANTINUCLEAR ANTIBODIES (ANA): Proteins in the blood that react with the nuclei of cells. Seen in 96% of those with SLE, in 5% of healthy individuals, & in most patients with autoimmune diseases
A titer of 1:80 or above is usually considered positive
ANTIPHOSPHOLIPID ANTIBODY: Antibodies to a constituent of cell membranes seen in one-third of those with SLE. In the presence of a co-factor, these antibodies can altert clotting & lead to strokes, blood clots, miscarriages, & low platelet counts. Also detected as the lupus anticoagulent
ANTI-RNP: Antibody to ribonucleoprotein. Seen in SLE & mixed connective tissue disease
ANTI-SM: Anti-Smith antibody; found only in lupus
ANTI-SSA: Or the Ro antibody, is associated with Sjogren's syndrome, sun sensitivity, neonatal lupus, & congenital heartblock
ANTI-SSB: Or the La antibody, is almpost always seen with anti-SSA
APHERESIS: Process of removing blood or some component of it from the body.
APOPTOSIS: Programmed cell death
ARTHRAGLIA: Pain in a joint
ARTHRITIS: Inflammation of a joint
ASEPTIC MENINGITIS: Inflammation of the lining of the brain (meninges) that is not due to any infectious agent
AUTOANTIBODY: An antibody to one's own tissues or cells
AUTOIMMUNITY: Allergy to one's own tissue

✩ B ✩

B LYMPHOCYTE or B CELL: A white blood cell that makes Antibodies
BASOPHILS: Make up less than 1% of white blood cells. These specialised cells combat parasitic or fungal invasion, & also play a roll in allergy. Normal range = up to 0.15
BIOPSY: Removal of a bit of tissue for examination under the microscope
BULLOUS LUPUS: Produces fluid-filled blisters or a rash similar to that of chickenpox.
BLOOD UREA NITROGEN (BUN): A product of protein metabolism. When the kidneys fail, the BUN levels rise, as do the levels of uric acid
BURSA: A sac of synovial fluid between tendons, muscles, & bones that promotes easier movement
BUTTERFLY RASH: Reddish facial eruption over the bridge of nose & cheeks, resembling a butterfly in flight. Also known as Malar rash.

✩ C ✩

CARDIAC TAMPONADE: Accumulation of fluid around the heart.
CARTILAGE: Tissue material covering bone
CHILLBLAINS: A term used to describe cold-blisters on or inflammation of the fingers, toes or ears
CHROMOSOMES: Rod-shaped bodies in nucleus of cells containing the genes
CHRONIC: Persisting over a long period of time
CNS: Central Nervous System
COGNITION: Awareness; ability to think methodically
CONNECTIVE TISSUE: The 'glue' that holds muscles, skin & joints together
COMPLEMENT: A group of proteins that, when activated, promote & are consumed during inflammation.
CH50 (Complement, total hemolytic), Normal range=52-128 CAE units
Complement C4, Normal range = 30-60 mg/dl
Complement C3, Normal range = 83-240 mg/dl
COMPLETE BLOOD COUNT (CBC): A blood test that measures the amount of red blood cells, white blood cells, & platelets in the body
CORTICOSTEROID: Any natural anti-inflammatory hormone made by the adrenal cortex; can also be made synthetically
CORTISONE: A synthetic corticosteroid
CREATININE: A waste product of creatine metabolism. There are high levels of creatinine in the blood when the kidneys are not functioning properly
CREST SYNDROME: A form of limited sclerodoma characterised by Calcium deposits under the skin, Raynaud's phenomenon, Esophageal dysfunction, Sclerodactyly or tight skin, & a rash called Telangiectasia
CROSSOVER SYNDROME: An autoimmune process that has features of more than one rheumatic disease(e.g. lupus & scleroderma)
C-REACTIVE PROTEIN (CRP): A blood protein. Raised levels are found in inflammation such as infections
CUTANEOUS: Relating to the skin
CYTOKINE: A group of chemicals that signal cells to perform certain actions

✩ D ✩

DERMATOMYOSITIS: An autoimmune process directed against muscles associated with skin rashes
DISCOID LUPUS: A thick plaquelike rash seen in 20% of those with SLE. If the patient has the rash but not SLE, he or she is said to have cutaneous (discoid) lupus erythematosus
DIURETIC: A drug that helps to make more urine
DNA: Deoxyribonucleic acid. The body's building blocks. A molecule responsible for the production of all the body's proteins

✩ E ✩
ECG (or EKG): Electrocardiogram, a recording of electrical forces from the heart
ELECTRO-RETINOGRAPHY: A sensitive screening test for early abnormalities of the retina of the eye
ENA: Extractable Nuclear Antibody. Blood test that covers Anti-RNP, Anti-Sm, Anti-La, Anti-Ro antibodies.
ENDOCARDITIS: Inflammation of the inner lining of the heart
EOSINOPHILS: White blood cells that make up 0-5% of all white blood cells. Eosinophils are involved in allergic responses.
Normal range = up to 0.5
ERYTHEMA: A reddish hue
ERYTHROCYTES: Red blood cells, which have no nucleus & transport oxygen to the tissues
ESR: Erythrocyte sedimentation rate. The blood test used as a 'barometer' of inflammation. Normal range = male 0-15mm/hour; female 0-20 mm/hour

✩ F ✩
FIBROMYALGIA (FIBROSITIS): A pain amplification syndrome characterised by fatigue, a sleep disorder, & tender points in the soft tissues; can be caused by steroids & mistaken for lupus, although 20% of those with lupus have fibromyalgia
FLARE: Symptoms reappear

✩ G ✩
GENE: The biologic unit of heredity located on a particular chromosome
GLOMERULONEPHRITIS: Inflammation of the glomerulus of the kidney; seen in one-third of patients with lupus

✩ H ✩
HAEMATOCRIT: A measurement of red blood cell levels. Low levels produce anaemia
HAEMATURIA: Red blood cells in the urine
HAEMIPARESIS: Paralysis or weakness on one side of the body
HAEMOGLOBIN: Oxygen-carrying protein of red blood cells. Low levels produce anaemia.
Normal range = 13.2-17.0
HAEMOLYTIC ANEMIA: Anaemia caused by premature destruction of red blood cells due to antibodies to the red blood cell surface
HISTOLOGY: The study of the microscopic structure of tissue
HISTOPATHOLOGY: The study of microscopic changes in diseased tissue

✩ I ✩

IGG (IMMUNOGLOBLIN G): The major antibody of plasma & the most important part of our antibody response. Most autoimmune diseases are characterised by IgG antibodies
IGM: Initially produced to fight antigens but soon decreases & allows IgG to take over. It plays an important but secondary role in autoimmunity
IMMUNE COMPLEX: An antigen & antibody together
IMMUNOSUPPRESIVE: A medication such as cyclophosphamide or azathioprine, which treats lupus by supppressing the immune system
INFLAMMATION: Swelling, heat, & redness resulting from the infiltration of white blood cells into tissues
INTERSTITIAL PNEUMONITIS: Atypical pneumonia due to either a virus or unknown factors
INTRAVENOUS PYELOGRAM (IVP): An x-ray examination of the kidneys

✩ L ✩

LE CELL: Specific cell found in blood specimens of most lupus patients. The LE cell is a white blood cell that has swallowed the nucleus of another white blood cell
LESION: A change in tissue due to injury or disease
LEUKOPENIA: A low white blood cell count.
LIVEDO RETICULARIS: A blotchy purplish discoloration of blood vessels, usually on the wrists and knees
LUPUS ANTICOAGULENT: A means of detecting antiphospholipid antibodies from prolonged clotting times
LUPUS PROFUNDUS: Inflammation of subcutaneous fat
LUPUS VULGARIS: Tuberculosis of the skin; not related to systemic or discoid lupus
LYMPH GLANDS: Glands situated strategically around the body to protect against the spread of infection
LYMPHOCYTE: Type of white blood cell that fights infection & mediates the immune response.
Normal range = 1.20-4.0
LYMPHOPENIA: A decrease in the number of lymphocytes in the blood.

✩ M ✩
MACROPHAGES: Cells that eat antigens, immune complexes, bacteria, & viruses
MIXED CONNECTIVE TISSUE DISEASE: Exists when a patient who carries the anti-RNP antibody has features of more than one autoimmune disease
MONOCYTES: White cells that represent about 5% of circulating blood cells. They are responsible for processing foreign materials (antigens), & the destroying cells & tissue debris that are by products of inflammation.
Normal range = 0.2-1.0
MRI (MAGNETIC RESONANCE IMAGING): The form of scan using magnetism rather than x-rays

10 Things You Should Know...

I found some useful information off of Google, and like always, I thought I would share it.
Enjoy :)!

Fact # 1
Lupus is an autoimmune, rheumatic disease.
In Lupus, the immune system of the body attacks it's own cells and tissue. Specifically, the joints, skin, kidneys, lungs, heart, nervous system, and many other organs of the body are also effected.

Fact # 2
There are (5) types of Lupus
Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) : effects the joints and organs
Discoid Lupus : Mainly effects the skin
Sub-Acute Cutaneous Lupus Erythematosus : characterized by a non-scarring skin lesion
Neonatal Lupus : effects newborns

Fact # 3
90% of Lupus patients are Women
Lupus affects roughly 10 times as many women as men. Most often, Lupus develops in people 18 to 45 years old. Although Lupus is more prevalent in women, both men and children can also be affected, at any age.

Fact # 4
There are (11) American College of Rheumatology criteria for Lupus
Butterfly shaped rash across bridge of nose and cheeks
Scaly, disk shaped rash
Sunlight sensitivity
Mouth sores, tongue sores, inside nose sores,
Arthritis pains in joints
Pain in chest and side when breathing or moving
Kidney problems
Neurological problems
Blood problems, such as anemia
Immune system malfunction
Antinuclear antibodies

It is recommended that if you suffer from (4) or more of these, you visit a Rheumatologist

Fact # 5
Lupus Diagnosis may be difficult
Lupus is considered an unpredictable disease, with no two cases, exactly the same. The unique pattern of the symptoms, associated with Lupus has caused some to say that Lupus is like a snowflake. No two are alike. There are several symptoms of Lupus which mimic other rheumatic diseases, making the diagnosis process difficult.

Fact # 6
Lupus treatments depend on symptoms and severity of symptoms
Conservative treatment with NSAIDs may be appropriate for Lupus patients with non life-threatening symptoms such as, joint pain, muscle pain, fatigue, and skin rashes. More aggressive treatment which may include high-dose corticosteroids or immuno-suppressive drugs is used when there are severe organ complications.

Fact # 7
Up to 1.5 million people across the nation, may have Lupus
Though the Lupus Foundation of America estimates that 1.5 million Americans have lupus, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention offer a more conservative estimate of 237,000. Approximately 70 percent of lupus cases are systemic. In 50 percent of those cases, it is a major organ which is affected.

Fact # 8
Certain races have an increased risk of developing Lupus
cording to the Lupus Foundation of America, lupus is two to three times more prevalent among people of color, including African-Americans, Hispanics, Asians, and Native Americans.

Fact # 9
The majority of Lupus patients lead normal lives
With careful monitoring of lupus, and treatment adjustments as needed, most lupus patients lead normal lives. There may be some limitations and the disease may impose restrictions at times but with good disease management quality of life can be sustained. The worst adversary comes from within, when the patient loses hope, loses will, and gives in to frustration and depression.

Fact # 10
A rheumatologist is a medical doctor who specializes in treating arthritis and other rheumatic conditions, including lupus.
Your primary care doctor can refer you to a rheumatologist. Evaluation by a rheumatologist is important so that a patient can develop a treatment plan.

Do not use this in substitute for medical advice. If you believe that you, or someone you love suffers from Lupus, please contact your family physician.

This information was taken from: http://arthritis.about.com/od/lupus/a/lupus_facts.htm