Patience.

It takes one person. One person, to make things happen. One person, to leave an impression, and One person, to make you believe. Before today, I didn't think it was possible to have a doctor think that there was a way to solve everything. Until now, I had 2 doctors tell me that they whole heartedly believed that I have Lupus, and a family doctor who knew nothing more about medicine than the common cold. I am so thankful to have waited, remained patient, for that one doctor that confirmed all of my intuitions about my illness. She, too, strongly believes that I suffer from Lupus - 3 down, 1 more to go. I have a doctors appointment with my Rheumatologist in June where I will ultimately find out what it is that has been plaguing me for so long. Obviously, Lupus would be the last thing that I would want to happen, but until you understand what its like to worry, to worry about what has been wrecking havoc on your body for so long, this is a good thing. Finally, it means that I have someone who is listening. Throughout this entire process, I have felt nothing but crazy. Crazy for believing that doctors could help me, crazy that I was even in this boat in the first place, and crazy that this was happening to me. How many wasted days, I have cried myself to sleep, in so much pain. Regardless of how hard this new road will be, I am happy to be taking it - because for once, it means that I am not taking it alone, and that there is actually a road to be taken. As of now, I have had no clear path, just dirt trails.

Today didn't come with all good news. When it rains, it pours. I was told by my endocrinologist today, that she believes I am pre-diabetic. Wait a second, are you kidding me! With all of the other crazy stuff I'm dealing with, DIABETES! Thankfully, we caught it early and I can change things but holy cow. How long has this been going on with doctors just failing to see it. I can't tell you, how many blood tests I have had done, checking my sugars. It really opened my eyes - things have to change. I am living in a cocoon - i need to be set free, i need to fly. There is no worse feeling in the world than knowing that you have no control over what is going to happen to. I feel like someone, decided to plan my life without me. There are certain things I cannot control, like the Lupus BUT there are certain things I can control, like the diabetes. I need to be thankful that things were not worse, they could have been. This blog is not only an outlet towards my Lupus diagnosis but yet a blog towards the trials and tribulations that I call my life. If just one person, learns from my experience, and all of the mistakes I have made in the past regarding my doctors, then it has all been worth it.

I'm not one of those people that like to hide things, and not share my knowledge - I think that is so selfish. Do you remember in high school, there was always that person that continually got 90% on a test but never wanted to help anyone do better, they just rubbed it in your face? Yeah, totally not me. If I can help, I am going to. I should be referred to a Diabetes clinic out of either Credit Valley or Trillium by summer so I will share all my knowledge on weight loss, keeping a healthy body, and most importantly.. keeping a healthy mind. Patience everyone, patience!