Last night was horrible. To say the least. With my pool therapy starting last night, my back was thrown into severe shock. I was in so much pain, I felt like breaking my back. I can't explain to you, what it feels like, to be so irritated with your joints, that breaking them off, seems easier to deal with than the pain. When pain gets this bad, sleeping is an issue too. How is anyone supposed to sleep, when their back feels like it's being ripped open with blades.. The worst part about sleeping, is knowing that as soon as your head hits the pillow, the next day wont be any different. The exciting part about life, is knowing that each day will be different than the last. When each day resembles one another, life begins to become a little drab. Can you not understand what people with a chronic illness such as Lupus feel like? Let me help you.. Picture the last time you got sick with the flu. The joint pain, the muscle aches, the tension headache; ultimately feeling like you've been hit by a mack truck. Well, times that by 10, and picture feeling like that, every single day of your life. Voila! You've guessed it.. it's living hell. Most days, I try to stay strong, and optimistic. However, some days, are just too hard to bare, and I break down. Lack of sleep is usually never good for anybody, but with a disease like Lupus and Fibromyalgia, fatigue, and lack of sleep can be detrimental. Something that you will hear me talk about quite frequently is called restorative sleep. The point of sleep, called NREM; non-rapid eye movement. Apparently, I have been unable to achieve this state of sleep, which enhances any pain i might have. My family physician put me on a medication called Nortriptyline. It is used as a "sleeping pill" for people with chronic diseases. Although it is mainly used as an antidepressant in higher doses, the lower doses are used to aid in sleep patterns and pain. One more med to add to the list... I hope this gives me some kind of relief!
Until next time... <3
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