Where do i begin? 'stares blankly at her wall.. my night couldn't have had any more problems, even if i wanted it to. Now I know why I barely take any time on my hair! You know when something bad happens, and after a certain amount of time between the incident and the next time you try something - you oddly forget how awful the incident was. Does that make any sense or am i just talking jibberish?? Regardless, let me get to my point. I am someone who likes the little things in life; doing my nails different colors, straightening my hair, doing my makeup.. it may be superficial and a tad materialistic but there is a difference between wanting these things in my routine, and needing them. If i need to, and when i want to, i can go without all of these things. One thing I have realized throughout this painful journey of dealing with a chronic illness, is that there is so much pain and darkness, you MUST do things to make yourself feel better. Does that mean everything has to be prim and proper all the time? No, of course not! It just means I enjoy taking care of myself; it helps me put the agonizing pain, in the back of my mind.
Well, although I take deep pride in taking care of myself, I have to be honest with you; i let myself go. This last week and a bit, I have been in such a rut, I completely let myself spiral down. Not only have i been getting sick with yet another virus, my joints and back have been horrible.. So, let me paint a not so pretty picture for you. I love to take baths every night before bed, it helps calm me down, it relaxes my muscles, and it helps with inflammation. My hands are getting to be so bad, that whenever i go to brush my hair in the shower with conditioner, my hands and fingers swell up immediately. The simple action of brushing my hair, causes a great deal of pain for me. Due to the fact that I hadn't taken care of my hair this week... and lets be honest - we've all done it! I had huge nots in my hair. I have a ton of curls, which could be the reason why.. either way, getting them out was horrible! I stupidly, decided to dye my hair tonight, in preparation for fall. Not only was that a job on its own, taking care of the after effects of it were agonizing. To add ontop of the stupidity, i decided to straighten my hair, another horrible choice on my part! Sure, I look better, and I guess I feel better emotionally but my fingers are ready to fall off.. I don't know what I'm going to do with this tired old body but it's shutting down... slowly, but surely.
I hope everyone had a wonderful first week back at school or work :)
Lots of love,
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