As I apply my anti-bacterial sanitizer, I am reminded that although it is Fall, beauty comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes - i wouldn't necessarily call bacteria beautiful, but it all depends on the eye of the beholder. As most of you know, Fall is my absolute favorite season of the year.. Warm sweaters, comfy boots, stylish scarves, mittens, and hats... oh, and don't forget the beautiful fall colors, from the leaves to the warm-toned nail polishes. With all of these exciting opportunities, right before the winter months come in, there is one thing, I am also reminded of when the leaves turn beautiful in color; GERMS!!! With summer swiftly turning into cold jacket weather, we must not forget that the school season begins, and with each school year beginning... a new set of germs, bacteria's and viruses are brought into the limelight.
Being someone who has an extremely compromised immune system, I do not take these virus' lightly. I used to look at colds, and cringe.. when you are someone who doesn't get sick very often, a simple seasonal cold can be an annoyance. To someone who suffers from extreme infections from these little old virus', "colds" can be your worst nightmare. People may think I'm anal for being so afraid of people who are sick, but if i wasn't.. these seemingly innocent colds, would land me in the hospital.. which they almost always do.
Every single month, without fail, some sort of little bug decides to attach to me, and wreck havoc on my body. As if I didn't have enough going on, I have to be blessed with these disgusting virus'. The only problem with this equation, is that these virus' land me in the hospital. The last time I caught a really bad virus, I was given the pleasure to spend my day/night in the Emergency room at the Credit Valley Hospital. It was a joy, let me tell you! With a cocktail of IV liquids to keep me hydrated and round the clock medication to take the edge off, I certainly did not appreciate these little germs that decided to move in on me - they had definitely over-stayed their welcome!
I would be lying if i didnt say this whole thing scared me, because it does. Each time my body endures another blow, I get paranoid. The bacteria that I'm currently fighting off has done a lot of harm to my body this time around. It started off with an innocent sore throat, and turned into something much more painful, and much more hard to get rid of. After going to the doctors, i was given a weeks worth of antibiotics, steroidal inhalers and sent on my merry way. With a combination of bronchitis and sinusitis, I was happy to finally be coming to the end of this extra battle. Little did i know, it would only be the beginning.
Tuesday started off, with me feeling a little bit better than the day before. I imagined that the antibiotics were definitely doing their job. The inhalers were opening up my chest, and allowing me the opportunity to know what fresh air felt like again. With swift instructions by the walk-in doctor to return if things did not get better, I thought for sure, I would be coming to the end of this bacteria's course. By Thursday afternoon, I could no longer fight the fact that this was not getting any better.. if anything it was getting worse. I could not eat or drink, for my mouth burned so badly - popsicles became my new best friend. Is it sad to say, that as women, we tend to thrive on being ill? We always look at it as an opportunity to shed some pounds. Too bad dealing with Lupus and PCOS makes for an almost impossible situation to lose weight, it doesn't matter how sick you are!
To make a long story, semi short, Friday night, was not a good night. I ate dinner, as usual, at around 6:00pm. Almost suddenly after finishing dinner, I began to feel as if something was stuck in my stomach and throat. Had I not been able to get my food down or was this something else? After over 3 hours of dealing with this annoyance, I began feeling sick to my stomach. After trying to vomit, I quickly began to see that this was going to be another night, I would not soon forget. I began dry-heaving, with my mom on the phone with Telehealth Ontario. They have really become our source of information throughout all of this, I don't know what i would do without them. I began dry heaving what seemed to look like mucus from my lungs.. the more it began happening, the more apparent it became that this was not just mucus from my lungs, there was blood. I immediately began to freak out, and play the why me card.. why, after all these years of suffering.. why. My saliva, yet again, began to become thick, and sticky; this is definitely not the first time this has happened. Like the speed of light, we turned into fast mode. Having done this before, my mom grabbed the benadryl to try and relax my breathing, my dad grabbed the ice chips and my mom began checking my blood pressure and heart rate. 65/51 with a heart rate of 60. For someone who used to have high blood pressure, this can be very concerning. Immediately, she tried again; 165/151 with a heart rate of 130... something was not right. It is during times such as these, that I get scared. I try not to let this disease scare me, and what it is capable of doing but when something like this happens, i get scared for my life, and for my family.
As much as I love the fall months, they also scare me. It has become apparent to all of us here, that preventative precautions must be taken to keep me as healthy as possible. My mom purchased masks a while ago, which i will have to start using regularly. I already carry hand sanitizer in my purse, and in my room. Now, when people decide to come over, they will have to sanitize their hands upon coming in, and if your sick, you have to stay away. I know this may sound rude, or maybe even mean, but I just can't take getting sick anymore. When i get sick, I REALLY get sick.
I hope everyone is doing well, and applying their sanitizer's regularly!
Talk to you soon,
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