I don't know what the heck happened this past week and a half but let me tell you, it would be a week that I wouldn't mind forgetting. Every time I go through a rough patch, I think to myself "this is THE worst day, ever. How could it possibly get any worse????" Oh, it can. I've spent many hours, trying to figure out where or when i went wrong. Maybe, if I stopped cracking my knuckles at 13, I wouldn't be in this much pain now. Maybe, if i worse my slippers on cold floors like my grandma says to do, maybe I wouldn't be tortured with pain every single day; all things that, deep down, I know is not true but deep down, I can't help but blame myself. Do you know what it feels like, to wear a studded jacket? A jacket filled with sharps nails embedded within it.... Well, I do - I felt it today.
With my dad redoing my bedroom, my parents thought it would be the most opportune time to see how much it would cost us to purchase a new bedroom set. I felt so horribly sick today, that I took advantage of the lonely wheelchair sitting outside The Brick. My dad had fun pushing me around, while we tried to look for my future bedroom. With only 10 minutes until close, we narrowed it down to a few. I was not in the best of moods to be shopping around for something so expensive, but I went with the flow because what other choice did i have. We could have come back another day, but what would I be doing at home? Probably laying in bed, with no fresh air, and no company.
Do I always want to go somewhere, and leave the comfort of my home and bed?? No, not really. The only justification i can make, is that I'm not alone if I go with my family. It doesn't matter what we are doing, whether we are redoing my bedroom, or laying on the couch.. the pain is always there, it always follows me. Just because, I choose to have a little change of scenery, doesn't mean that I'm magically all better. We're all fighting some sort of battle, remember that.
Talk soon :)
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