You should take your own advice :)

You would think that you would be prepared when life threw you a curve ball.. turns out, I wasn't. I don't think you could ever be prepared for the unexpected aspects of life. It doesn't matter how much you have been through in your lifetime, there will always be something that will catch you off guard, and damage you. After years of struggling with what I have been given, I was finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnle.. Albeit small, very small, actually.. at least I could see a glimmer of hope. I finally felt like I was actually getting somewhere. Was it the perfect way to do things, no, probably not. I did a lot of things that had I known what I know now, I probably wouldn't have done. At the end of the day though, life is one big ball of crazy and you need to learn how to have fun with it. It doesn't matter what you do, or what you don't do.. you will always be criticized. If you're not educated on the matter, and you've never been through it.. you will never, ever know what someone is going through. I don't care how much you think you may know about me, or my illness.. you know nothing. I like to look at this illness as a filter; a filter for all the bad in my life. Without it, I wouldn't know who I could and couldn't trust. It's not always the easiest way to learn about people but, it's effective.

I have had a really hard month, both physically and emotionally. Maybe it's that people don't understand me, or maybe it's that they don't understand what I'm going through, either way.. just because you "know" me, doesn't make you an expert on me, or what I'm dealing with. People can talk until they're blue in the face, but at the end of the day, you're not up with me at 5:00 in the morning, not having had any sleep, in so much pain that just laying down makes you sweat. I don't know what it is ..... {I am exhausted, and I keep falling asleep at the keyboard.. I will write back tomorrow}