Oh, this could really be a good life..

It is finally the end of the day! Everyone is in their beds, ready for the night to be over. There is something so peaceful about night time.. maybe its because you know that the world around you is asleep and dreaming. Dreams; they're a funny thing. Aren't they? Wishing for something that is not close enough to reach. I used to be a big dreamer, I loved my fantasies because it meant that they might be attainable. That is at least, until you grow up..

I think I knew pretty quickly growing up that dreams, and fantasies were something that you thought about while you were asleep. There is a difference between having goals, and having dreams. I have goals. Dreaming is a form of hope, a fantasy that you wished were possible in real life. I had lots of dreams as a little girl.. some were so far fetched they don't even grant an explanation. Others, though.. are real life dreams. Sometimes, I lay in bed, wishing to remember what it was like to feel healthy again. I can't remember the last time I woke up with the feeling of freedom. You know what I'm talking about don't you? I don't mean actual freedom, running wild.. I mean, when you wake up in the morning and you feel a.l.i.v.e, truly alive. When the air you breathe in makes you feel like you're on a cloud; the feeling of anything being possible.

I remember waking up as a child, feeling the sun shinning through my window.. hearing the beautiful birds with the sign of summer fast approaching. Why is it that when we get older, we forget those little things? It's not about the sun coming in hitting ever cold spot on your body.. it's about closing the blinds because it's way too hot OR maybe closing the window because you can't sleep. I want to dream, trust me.. i do. I just find it so hard to hold onto something that shows no promise. I constantly dream of the day where my limbs get out of bed before my mind.. the thought of being well, seems like a never ending wishing well.. i continue to throw my quarters in but all i ever see is that little girl inside of me.. wishing that i didn't know better. Wishing that I knew it was all a fantasy.

Maybe dreams do come true, after all.. maybe we just focus on the wrong things to dream for.. I dream for the day I won't be sick anymore when maybe what i should be dreaming of is a man to love and care for me so much, that all of that bad stuff doesn't even matter..

This could really be a good life.. and that, is no dream at all.. that's reality. Just give me the chance xx
p.s. sorry if im babbling. The way i see it is, im allowed one of these a month, where you are so tired that you could be talking in a language you don't even know.. I will be back tomorrow with a GOOD blog! I promise...

Until next time,
xo