Sweet Dreams.......

We all have struggles, but it's what we do with those struggles that make us unique. I can't say that I'm all that unique, but I definitely try to hold my own. I've been in some weird health kick lately, you know - actually caring what you put into your body, and recognizing that our bodies need lots of care to function. I don't know how long it will last (a little insight into my life; i tend to start things, and not finish) I'm not necessarily proud of this fact but I mid as well be honest.

There have been a handful of times in life where i have been scared, truly scared. I have been trying not to remind myself that this particular time in my life, I should be scared to death, or scared of death shall I say. I know I mentioned about some stuff going on with my health, other than the obvious. It's strange you know, I know what I want to say but I can't quite bring myself to say it. It's not like movies; emotion, anger, guilt. I feel nothing, I am literally emotionless. I don't know if it's because I'm trying not to think about it, or if it hasn't fully registered yet. I have had my moments, where the world stands still - instances few and far between.

It has been a dark cloud in my family, hovering; a rain storm that just wont pass. Ovarian Cancer.

Yes folks, you heard me right. A few months ago, I started noticing slight changes in regards to a familiar pain that was quite honestly, forgotten. I began noticing changes in my menstrual cycle, along with severe pressure in the pelvic region. Okay, let's not get into too much detail. I mean come on, this is just a blog after all (lol).. Well, to make a long story short. I may have cancer. Even writing it feels foreign to me. I am so used to talking about it, just not for myself. What I thought was a large cyst, turns out I have a mass instead. I have to see an oncologist at the beginning of February. Even though I don't think it is cancer, it still feels weird to say, or even think. Me? cancer? No way. I am 22 years old. How does a 22 year old "possibly" have ovarian cancer? I don't get it. My gynecologist is concerned because of my enlarged liver, I guess it's common in patients with ovarian cancer. Not to mention, the other areas around my ovaries which what they think are cysts. If they can be wrong about a large mass being a cyst, I can't really say I trust that these "cysts" on my ovaries, are actually cysts.

Anywho, it's late and I'm tired. I'm sure I will post another blog soon. Keep you posted.

Until next time...

My Healthcare Binder

Just a tad bit of information for each and every one of you to think about.. I was first introduced to the idea a few years ago upon a repetitive doctors appointment. In Canada, you are legally allowed to your own medical information, including test results and history. Before I became sick, I was unaware of the importance involved with taking charge of your own health care. Most doctors look at a prepared patient, in a better light then one which is not prepared. I had no idea, until i started doing my research. As a Canadian citizen, I am allowed to obtain copies of every single medical test that has ever been preformed on me. With photocopies of all my test results, I have created a binder full of important health related information which I take to all of my specialist appointments. Categorized, I have different sections for each individual issue; test results, symptoms, medications, ect.. I'm not saying it's something all of you have to hurry and run out to do, but it's definitely an idea for each and every one of you to consider. It may not be for everyone but it is definitely a good way to keep track of all your health care information..

If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask!

Talk to you soon...